Honestly....

"I often wonder if ur actaully happy, do u know what true happiness is? Did u fall in love with who he is today or did u fall in love with the image that every one else has built him up to be? He's got to make u happy sometime I guess or I think u would have been gone by now. Sometimes u have to "fight" for what u want. There are those of us in this world that care about u, are there for u, and are supporting u in what ever decision u make in life. We're there for u through thick and thin, wrong or right, yes even at 3:37 in the morning if that's when u need a shoulder to cry on."
-a close friend-

Let me start out with this quote because I believe it is so suiting for this post, "Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley. I believe that I've over-compensated my image of him from the things that I hear from other people. I have created my own reality... in which he's everything I see daily and more... which isn't completely untrue. I fell in love with both the ideals that everyone talked about (and i believe are still within his reach he's just avoiding them currently) and i fell in love with the man he is now. I am slowly but surely learning to fight harder for what i want and feel i deserve and as i do this i am finding that he communicates when i push and don't let him avoid the conversations. He and i just view things differently and that is a-o-kay with me, i just needed to understand his view.

Caring-
Me: when you take me out (on a one-on-one date..romance me), you tell me you love me, you choose me over friends, i say i'm leaving and you don't let me go.
Him: when i invite you to go out w/ me and my friends and you're the only girl there, when i have you over all the time, when i take you out to dinner, when i attend an event or outing that you asked me to go to.

Think I'm attractive-
Me: when you tell me i'm pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, when you say you wouldn't trade me for anyone (except maybe bali rodriguez), when you compliment me on anything.
You: when i tell you that you look good in an outfit (or don't) and you change it to something i do like/think you look good in, when i tell you what my favorite outfit on you is, when i tell you that you look sexy (in lingerie, only time i've ever heard that).

I have no problems accepting those things, in fact it makes it so much easier because now i can appreciate you for those things SO MUCH MORE than i was when i DID NOT know that's what that meant to you. Communication is Key! But to end this on the positive note in which i am now on within my relationship, I truely love him for who he is now, was before me, and whomever he may become in the future. I believe that he and i can last a lifetime, but like everything else in life you gotta put in hard work before it is ever easy. He's the one worth suffering for (although it doesn't happen often), he's the one who can make me laugh, cry, smile, love, and hurt... but i wouldn't have it any other way... He is the one I love; truely, honestly, and completely. I got to fall in love with him, i wouldn't trade that for anything. ♥