shameful regret...

Until you have been through the experience you cannot really relate. What an awful feeling to eat at you... whether it is your fault or not... it never goes away. You can't run from it... You can't forget it... and You can never erase it. The feeling that you will never be good enough for anyone. The feeling that you're broken, ugly, worthless. Being lead into this state of mind where subconciously you ruin everything just so you don't have to worry about the judgement from the ones you love finding out. Avoiding the subjects and the looks people hand out. The pain to love someone in fear of it happening again. Or just the fear of the pain you can cause from you subconcious acts of destruction. All you can ask is... Are you doing ok?

Impacted:
Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. ~Author Unknown
Love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image... otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. ~Author Unknown
Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. ~Julins Gordon
I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone. ~Javan

You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry. ~Author Unknown
Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. ~Antoine de Saint
When love is not madness, it is not love. ~Pedro Calderon de la Barca
Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense. ~Mark Overby
Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly. ~Proverb
Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. ~Peter Ustinov

Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones. ~Mignon McLaughlin
Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that. ~Michael LeunigTo find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. ~Laurence Marks, M*A*S*H, "Love Story," original air date 7 January 1973, spoken by the character Hawkeye

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. ~Frank A. Clark

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. ~Robert Heinlein
The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands. ~Quoted by Alexandra Penney
When a man is in love or in debt, someone else has the advantage. ~Bill Balance
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly. ~Rose Franken

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. ~Robert Frost

You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. ~Dr. Seuss

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. ~Author Unknown

Love makes time pass; time makes love pass. ~French Proverb

You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget. ~Author unknown
Once a man has won a woman's love, the love is his forever. He can only lose the woman. ~Robert Brault