He says I think life is a fairy tale with happy endings. I know life isn't a fairy tale, look at my history. (and if it were, we wouldn't being having this conversation.) But i do believe in true love and i think life can be happy and have a happy ending but of course there will be hard parts and problems. Right along with knowing it won't all be rainbows and butterflies all the time, i also think romance creates such opportunitiy... maybe you're just not taking it! i love and care about him so much and i would give him anything in the world that he wanted, if i could. i want to see him happy. i want to him to believe that i am something... SOMEONE worth believing in, because I AM! i'm an amazing girl with so much to offer but i want someone to have something to offer in return. he has plenty to offer and then some but he's still closed off . he says taht he's a realist. i don't think that you can just be either a realist or an idealist and be happy, because we need both. there are times we need the idealist view to give us HOPE so we can make it to the next day. and sometimes we need the realist to see taht the hope that got us to today is just a temporary thing and we have to see the consequences that await us, whether they be good or bad. i love him so much, but as Eli from "Loose Girl" said "sometimes that doesn't matter and it's not enough." I guess the question is will it be enough for us? As an idealist i see a grand future full of happiness and joy. As a realist i see the possibility of many fights to come. And as a combination of the two, I see your typical healthy relationship that thrives off both love and war, like any successful relationship... i guess only time will tell.
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Random Rant of Frustration: DOUBLE STANDARDS! He yells at me for "always" drinking his drink when he gets one. (tonight included). when we went to go get ice cream i asked what he wanted. "what are you going to get?" he says. i say im not sure yet, just to tell me what he wants. he responds, "well i just have some of whatever you get." i just look at him puzzled. "what?" he says. I tell him, "nothing, its just interesting to me." then i leave and go get the ice cream. Why do you expect me to just share my shit with you when you bitch and complain about sharing with me? Don't say it's because i don't ask... because you don't either. You ASSUME that you can just have some. The difference is that I SHARE IT WITH YOU REGARDLESS, WITHOUT BITCHING AND COMPLAINING TIL NOW... and I WILL REMEMBER THIS FOR LATER!
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some quotes that just seem to hit me...
"being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. it means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections."
"love me without fear. trust me without doubt. love me without restrictions. want me without demand. accept me how i am."
"if you want to see the rainbow.. you gotta put up with the rain."
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