Ace: So what’s wrong?
Me: nothing.
Me: I’m tired. Exhausted.
Me: What are you doing?
Ace: Waking up
Me: O
Ace: Something is bothering u. I didn’t even get a kiss today.
Me: Bad night I guess.
Ace: No.. u know
Me: Bad dream.
Ace: Hmmm I don’t believe a dream would do that but whatever
Me: Combination type deal. My bad mood carried over, got shitty sleep, had a bad dream. Just frustrated easily I guess right now.
Ace: Thought u were over last night.
Me: Meh I never know.
Ace: K
Me: I don’t know anymore. Blah.
Ace: Well I don’t know whats going on so I can’t help
Me: Why are you with me Ace?
Ace: Cause I like u
Me: I guess I don’t know where this is going or why are you’re with me… I don’t know
Ace: Well u have to decide what u want and tell me
Me: I want you, us. I want to know what I mean to you. IK where I stand and how I feel. I want to know if you see yourself with me in the future or just what you see. We don’t talk about this stuff and I feel like I never know how you really feel about me or anything.
Ace: I really don’t plan for the future. Take things day by day.
Me: I don’t think you care about me half as much as I care about you and that scares me.
Me: I think you already knew that though.
Ace: Yeah. But ive learned the hard way.
Me: What do you mean by that?
Ace: If we broke up right I wouldn’t be as hurt as last time.
Me: Which is frustrating!!! Bc I would be. I’m in love with you and you just like me. I would be torn up if we broke up, and it would just be another day for you. I have been thru this all b4 multiple times too but I still put forward everything I have in a relationship bc you don’t deserve to deal with the bs bc of something someone else did to me. But now that you and her are on good terms it would be awesome if I didn’t feel like I was still dealing with the repercussions from her.
Me: (Want me to keep going cuz I have a lot on my mind.)- pretty sure it didn’t send.**
Ace: Fair enough.
Me: ?
Ace: I thought I was doing better but I guess not.
Me: You are baby... That’s not what I meant. I guess I just have a lot of wishful thinking...
-my thoughts: i wish that you loved me. i wish that you wanted to be with me forever... marriage, family, the whole 9 yards. i wish that you were done talking to your stupid ex gf!!! UGH!
Ace: .... hmmm
Me: IDK how to explain how I feel without it sounding mean.
Ace: Sound mean I don’t care
Me: It doesn’t matter. I’m just being a dumb girl.
Me: I think you still care about her... I think its why you want to be friends with her. I think its why you haven’t asked her why she did it, bc you don’t want to know and don’t want to ruin the newly found friendship. I think there’s a lot more than meets the eye and I think you know it.
Ace: U know what? I’ll call her when u get home put her on speaker and tell her I can’t talk to her anymore.
Me: That’s not what its about. Its not what I want either.
Ace: Its fine. U obviously don’t believe me when I say I don’t want her.
Me: I don’t think you want her.
Ace: Then I don’t understand.
Me: Guess what?! I just got over it. I decided I wasn’t going to care about it, so I don’t anymore!! Hooray happy days! :) :D
Ace: Ur terrible at this....
Me: I am just going to ignore it. I don’t feel like letting this bother me anymore. I’m tired of it. I’m just going to focus on anything and everything else. So whatevs. Its a waste of my brain and energy to think about someone i couldn’t care less about. SO that’s what i’m going to do care less and less bc to me she’s worthless and means nothing. (no offense to you.) you cant talk to her or whatever I have better things to do though than worry.
