Eternal Hell

"Every night she cries herself to sleep thinking, why does this happen to me?" 

I can't begin to describe the things that send me on the up's and down's I go through on a daily basis. I see your pictures, our pictures, everyday. I cannot take them down, make the go away. It is my reminder of my mistake. The passion I feel towards you is the only passion I can find. How do I find what I want in someone else when I know you have it all. People say things get easier, there's a light at the end of the tunnel or that you have to face the rain to get the rainbow... can someone be real with me? Just tell me to face the facts? I don't get the boy in the end, I can't fix my mistakes and its gone forever. Stop hoping. (Even though its the only reason I push through each day.) Hope  is a funny word, by definition it means: the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: Well guess what... that is going down the drain, and fast! My mind, body, soul, and heart can't keep up anymore. I love you, until the end of time... but I am running out of options and fast. The second you say you want me I am there, no questions asked... and I can't change that. While that may not be a good thing, its the ONLY thing I can do. Like I said I love and am in love with you... I just hope some day you find a way to feel the same again. I am sorry for all the pain I caused you and hope you know its an eternal damnation for me now days. 
The best to you,